A collective sigh will be let out by millions of very satisfied gamers in September when the game everyone is waiting for is finally unleashed… Grand Theft Auto 5. That’s right, the relationship killing, job losing, time sucking, reality ignoring, RSI causing, controversy provoking, class cutting, ground breaking granddaddy of all open world games is back and ready to get us to cash in our sick days and sit bug eyed, slack jawed and drooling in front of our screens for the next year or so!
Now for those of you that have been living under a rock and have never heard of the Grand Theft Auto franchise, here’s a quick overview… Grand Theft Auto was released in 1997 to great success and was followed up in 1999 by GTA 2, which met with similar accolades. The series really became a global sensation when the 3D sandbox GTA 3 was released in 2001 and changed the way most gamers played and the way studios designed games. This was followed by the 80’s Scarface inspired GTA Vice City, the 90’s Boyz in the Hood inspired GTA San Andreas and the return to the parody of New York, Liberty City with a new engine and protagonist, Nico Bellic in GTA 4… and after over 15 years of joy riding on stolen school buses, blowing pedestrians up with rocket launchers and general anti-social behaviour comes the biggest and baddest of them all… Grand Theft Auto 5.
When I say biggest and baddest I mean it! The area for the new game is more than Red Dead Redemption, GTA 4 and San Andreas combined… which, if that wasn’t enough to already absolutely boggle the mind, we have also been informed that the ocean floor can now be fully explored which adds a whole new dimension to the game.
Grand Theft Auto 5 is set in the familiar city of Los Santos (last seen in GTA San Andreas) and is inspired in part by one of the best missions in GTA 4 ‘Three Leaf Clover’, where the player takes part in a heist. This time there are three protagonists instead of one. Michael (a rich retired criminal), Trevor (a backwoods trailer trash psychopath) and Franklin (a repo man and aspiring street hustler) with the player being able to slip between them seamlessly during the gameplay.
The combat and driving mechanics have also had a full overhaul. Think Max Payne and Midnight Club, with a new inventory system and the ability to fully customize cars and weapons. New features include hunting, yoga, tennis, triathlons and even being able to invest in stocks. And then there is the graphics; if the screen shots released so far are anything to go by we are in for a visual smorgasbord with Rockstar taking the current generation of consoles to their absolute limit!
One of the features that sets Grand Theft Auto apart from its imitators is its razor sharp wit, which Rockstar brandishes and slashes at pop culture with gay abandon throughout the series. It’s in the radio stations and product parodies that showcase this the best. The products in the games have always intrigued me; from Burger Shot to Clucks Chicken, I have always enjoyed these little touches. So I was very intrigued when I saw a screen shot of a truck with the logo for a fast food chain called Up-N-Atom Burger on its side.
The logo and name bear a striking similarity to one of my all time favourites, In-n-Out Burger. For the fun of it I decided to create a menu item from this new Grand Theft Auto fast food franchise; I call it the Atomic Double Cheese Burger… and it has a sauce so spicy that it will cause you to cry both tears of joy and pain at the same time. I personally don’t think a Burger should consist of anything more than meat, bread, cheese, pickles and sauce… if you disagree please feel free to add your own little touches. But be warned, this sauce is like a nuclear explosion in your mouth… to tame it omit the Habanero Chillies from the recipe.
I am sure many players are going to take their time and explore all that Los Santos has to offer, perhaps even see if they can go in to Up-N-Atom Burger and get an Atomic Double Cheese Burger… but if you’re like me, and the millions of sweats on Reddit you will be heading straight to the top of Mt Chiliad and finding out WTF is in the shack on top of the mountain! Hope to see you up there in September…
Atomic Double Cheese Burger
For The Double Cheese Burger
500g Pork Veal Mince (Make sure it is not too lean!)
4 Slices Red Leicester Cheese
2 Hamburger Buns
2 Generous Pinches of Salt
1 Tbsp. Cracked Black Pepper
1 Polskie Ogórki Pickle Thickly Sliced
For the Atomic Sauce
Makes approx. 750ml
2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
1 Spanish Onion Chopped
5 Cloves Garlic Roasted
2 Tins Whole Peeled Tomatoes
75ml Apple Cider Vinegar
75ml Worcestershire Sauce
3 Tbsp. Dijon Mustard
5 Tbsp. Brown Sugar
3 Tbsp. Ancho Chilli Powder
3 Tbsp. Pasilla Chilli Powder
2 Chipotle Chillies
2 Dried Habanero Chillies
2 Tbsp. Soy Sauce
60ml. Apple Juice
1 Cups Water
For the Atomic Sauce
Heat a griddle pan over medium heat, add the Chipotle and Habanero Chillies and cook until fragrant.
Place Chillies in a medium size bowl and weigh down with a heavy object like a tin can and pour over boiling water till immersed. Soak for 30 minutes then remove and reserve.
Heat oil in Pan and cook Onions till Caramelized and reserve.
- Roast garlic in a hot pan until skin has blackened and the garlic is soft. Remove from heat, skin and reserve.
Dry roast Ancho and Pasilla Powder in a pan over a low heat until fragrant and reserve.
In a Blender add Garlic, Chilli powders, Onions, Tomatoes, Ketchup, Red Wine Vinegar, Worcestershire Sauce, Molasses, Dijon Mustard, Brown Sugar, Chipotle & Habanero Chillies, Soy Sauce, Apple Juice, Water and blend until smooth.
Add to Saucepan, bring to boil and simmer stirring to ensure it doesn’t stick.
Cook until the sauce has reduced by a third and it is nice and thick, approx. 30-45min. Season to taste.
Press sauce through fine mesh strainer and cool, sauce should last a few weeks in the fridge.
For The Atomic Double Cheese Burger
In a Medium Mixing Bowl add Pork Veal Mince, salt and pepper and mix together well.
Form Meat into 4 x 125g gram patties.
Heat a large fry pan with a splash of Olive Oil over a medium heat and add the patties. Cook until brown then flip over.
Once cooked, turn off the heat, add a slice of cheese to each Pattie and cover the pan with a lid for approx. 60 seconds to allow cheese to melt.
Stack the Patties onto the base of the Hamburger buns (lightly toast them first if you feel so inclined), add a generous amount of sliced pickles and slather the lid with the Atomic Sauce… serve with onion rings and a fire extinguisher!